Parting

I’ll be leaving to Arizona for 2 years this 1st quarter of December 2008. I’m so lost and worry my mum. Mum seems to be so sick after I broke this news to her.

I never know I stand such an important place inside mum’s heart. I had been working at home for 2 years. Mum is old and yet need to take care of 2 young mischievous nephews.

I was always the one who help her answering phone call if the caller is speaking English.
I will turn off the gas for her if she boil water till she doze off.
I always turn off the tap for her if I heard if leaking inside bathroom when she had forgotten to turn off.
I will wake her up to keep the clothes if it is going to rain.
I will take care of the kids on behalf of her if she needs to go out to run some errands.

My 2 nephews are really very mischievous; I ever saw them to hit my mum’s head with a metal toy car! My mum ever slipped inside bath room and got 12 stitches on her head. Her scalp is very thin till she can’t suffer any hitting from my nephews!

Mum now so sick, everyday will tell she can’t eat well nor sleep well and even no mood to do anything when she think that I’m leaving her in 3 months time!

She worry I don’t how to take care myself and I always fall sick all this while.

But Ma,
If I can’t cook I can buy food there to eat.
If I sick, I can go see doctor there and get medication.
If I don’t know how to wash clothes, I will send them to laundry.
Remember I’m 28 not 18. I’m no longer a kid. I can take care myself and learn to be independent.
But what matter most, I worry you! Do you know I’m weeping bitterly for you? I can’t bear to see you in this stage. I so worry you’ll very sick if I’m gone.

I totally so lost… who can tell me what should I do? Is it selfish to leave? Is it correct to let Bee go States alone? How long can I be with her? I really only going for 2 years and I will be back to Singapore in 2010. hoping my 2 elder sisters spent more time with her especially Sharon. Thou I might sound evil but I hope my eldest sister shop in SLQ will close down soon so you can stay at home to look after your own kids with mum!!!

Lastly, I do feel the pain like you feel for me. But I wish to see the world outside…. I can’t be under your protection forever…. No matter how far am I, I will make sure I call back! If there's a need, I will flew back alone to spent time with you! I promise!